Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Understanding Trauma, Transforming Care With Danielle

Description

What if understanding trauma began with empathy instead of assumptions?

In this insightful conversation, Danielle from Ottawa opens up about her evolving perspective on trauma, both personally and through her work with Safe Families Canada. Guided by CareImpact’s Tim Smith, Danielle highlights why compassionate support, self-reflection, and positive experiences are so crucial for families in crisis. Her story offers practical encouragement and perspective for anyone exploring trauma care or striving to walk alongside others with greater empathy.

CareImpact Podcast Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/19rkPGbD7C/

• Transcript

  Johan Heinrichs [00:00:01]:

  Welcome to this special summer Speedos episode of Journey with Care. Today, we're featuring Danielle from Ottawa who recently participated in our trauma care master class. In this conversation, we have a guest host, Tim, who is our lead trauma care trainer, invites Danielle to share some of her personal journey, what first sparked her interest in understanding trauma, the impact it's had on her work with Safe Families Canada, and what she took away from the course. So whether you're new to the ideas of trauma care or have some experience, this episode offers relatable insights on empathy, growth, and supporting others through difficult times. So enjoy this conversation with Tim and Danielle.

  Danielle [00:00:41]:

  Let's start. Danielle, it's so great to have you with us from Ottawa. What's something simple that brought you some joy this week?

  Tim Smith [00:00:50]:

  I did a little training with my dog last night, which was nice. We have a puppy who brings us joy, but she also brings us some, like, maybe annoyances every now and again because of some behaviors. So that was fun. I we enjoyed that.

  Danielle [00:01:05]:

  Yeah. Oh, that's fun. You're finding joy and hope in in things moving forward even if at the moment they're a bit of a mess.

  Tim Smith [00:01:11]:

  Exactly.

  Danielle [00:01:13]:

  Well, before we jump into your story, could you share a little bit about, yourself?

  Tim Smith [00:01:18]:

  So I live in Ottawa on the East End. We came to Ottawa based on a job for my husband. He's a pastor here in the city. Over the years, I've played a number of different roles in between church ministry and kinda social services work in one way or another in the helping professions. So currently, over the last two years, I've been working with Safe Families Canada, here in the Ottawa chapter. My current role is family coach supervisor. So I oversee our, volunteers, work on training with our volunteers, and work on matching the families that we support with volunteers that we get to match with them for a circle of support.

  Danielle [00:02:04]:

  Beautiful, diverse work you've been involved in there in Ottawa. Can you share a little bit about your journey in understanding trauma? What first opened your heart to wanting to know more?

  Tim Smith [00:02:14]:

  So it's interesting. When I think about my journey of understanding trauma, I, myself, had experienced some trauma, in my own background and childhood as many many people have. But the first time kind of the word came up for me, it was somebody from my previous church who basically said, oh my goodness, this terrible thing has happened, and it's actually trauma. And and I remember at that time, it's years ago now, but I remember at that time thinking, does she think she has PTSD? And thinking, like, that's just for people who are in the army and serving in war. And because that was that was really the understanding that I had and many people around me had in terms of what what trauma is and that it's associated with these major disasters, worldwide disasters. And so that was kind of the first, experience that I had of using that word trauma for kinda everyday people. And, unfortunately, at the time, I remember I was a little bit judgmental thinking, like, how is that possible that she would place herself in that kind of a a scenario as if she's, you know, had this major thing happen. Of course, over the years, I've understood more and more about trauma and come to repent for thinking that way about this woman who actually had her own situation, traumatic situation.

  Tim Smith [00:03:47]:

  And at the time, I'm sure I made much too light of it compared to what was actually going on, and just out of a lack of understanding. And so I would say since joining, say, families, I have wanted to understand trauma a lot better. Just with many of the families that we work with, I would say most, if not all, have some form of trauma in their background, whether the parents or the children or both. And so it really is my due diligence and absolute, necessity for me to have greater understanding on trauma, on its effects, on how to work with people who have trauma in their lives. And just even having had better understanding for myself and my own previous trauma, getting some therapy over the years has helped me to understand it better. And then working with other people, I really want to have a greater sense of empathy, especially certain behaviors can look like, are you doing that on purpose? Or are you saying what are you saying? Or how you know, so I I don't wanna have that view. I certainly wanna always look at the person from the perspective of how can I best care for them given their scenario?

  Danielle [00:05:10]:

  Wow. Thank you for sharing that personal experience. Those are difficult stories to share sometimes in the way that our hearts and our eyes get open to something we didn't see before, but we love, you know, Maya Angelou's quote, when we know better, then we do better. And having that same compassion grace for ourselves is beautiful. I hear you carrying that. As you've shared your your story and how, your heart continues to open in the work that you're doing with Safe Families, could you just very briefly, for any of our listeners who aren't familiar with Safe Families, just describe what Safe Families is and then maybe a little piece on your role just so we can understand clearly what what you're up to in in the way that you use this this understanding where your heart has shifted.

  Tim Smith [00:05:55]:

  Sure. So Safe Families Canada is a national organization here in Canada. Safe Families wraps around families that are going through a crisis for a short term period, but we always seek to wrap around through supports that are relational. So some of the different roles that our volunteers play are they may do a hosting. Host families would have children come to stay at their home, whether for a day hosting or for overnight hostings, while parents are working through a crisis so that they can stabilize their home environment so that children can come back. The goal is always reunification. We have family coaches that work with families, the parents typically, to help them to get to that place of stabilization, moving towards some of those goals, building goals for the parents to work towards so that their home can be more stable, their life can be more stable with their family, with their children, so it's a safe place for them. We also have family friends, volunteers that, come alongside just as you or I would with a friend who's in need, and maybe it's a phone call, a listening ear, somebody to be there as a support network, come by, maybe babysit the kids while mom has an appointment or whatever it might be.

  Tim Smith [00:07:11]:

  And then we have resource friends that come alongside in kind of practical ways. It might be bringing a meal. They might never actually have access to the families themselves. We have a volunteer who makes meals and drops them at our office, and then we bring them to a family in need. It might be people who have specific skills that can help out with, you know, handiwork or helping with taxes or whatever the need might be, just to make sure that families that could be lacking resources in order to provide the best support, that we help with those resources. So it's all really meant to be proactive, preventative, deflecting any need for child welfare just to help with those supports in a natural way, family like supports, before the big need is there for maybe to have children removed or, you know, some very difficult scenario.

  Danielle [00:08:02]:

  Thank you. And we're just coming out of a course. You were participating in the trauma care master class with Care Impact recently. Is there something because that's so fresh for you, is something during the course that resonated with you or helped you deepen this learning journey you've been on in understanding trauma and how to care well?

  Tim Smith [00:08:21]:

  Yeah. I think the big thing for me is having greater understanding over development of a child, especially. Like, even when I look at the moms, if they've had, you know, trauma as a small child, and it's affected their development in whatever way, like, that helps me to come alongside with a lot more empathy when I when I go, okay. The brain development, the emotional connection, those bonds, all the things that I might take for granted and go, like, why is this person behaving this way? It seems like such a major response for such a simple thing. But yet, if I have a little bit of understanding for the parents, but also their children who have also had some potentially had some trauma as well, and understanding that reaction a little bit better so that I can come alongside and even train my volunteers to come alongside with that added compassion and empathy. I think that's helped me a lot to keep it at the forefront, understanding that there actually is a difference in the brain and how it's developed. So that part, as well as understanding the benefit of the positive childhood experiences and babyhood experiences. So that's something that really has encouraged me in the work that I do.

  Tim Smith [00:09:44]:

  Because if I can let families know or volunteers know that with what they are doing, by adding those positive experiences and wherever possible just lumping on, you know, love and care and support and positivity that it could actually be changing the trajectory of a child who has had, you know, some pretty adverse things perhaps in their past. And so, yeah, that's a really encouraging like, I remember even in the very beginning of the course, the first couple of weeks are so hard to get through because it's very much the the problem. Right? But we have to understand the problem in order to then be able to move forward and Mhmm. Kinda look at, okay, now how can we counteract that? So I think those positive experiences that we can build into is is a big takeaway for me.

  Danielle [00:10:39]:

  Now the course is completed. You've kinda sat in this content afresh and in a deeper way like you're sharing. Has there been a moment maybe recently where you've something you've learned or or realized helped you approach a situation differently? Some little snapshot story for our listeners.

  Tim Smith [00:10:58]:

  Yeah. Like, I think it's still very possible for me to have a knee jerk reaction to and and not usually where it's actually coming out at somebody, but where internally I might have that knee jerk reaction to the way somebody might be presenting some information. Even today, like, I got a text from somebody who's sort of disgruntled about one of the things that has happened with somebody who's completely not related to me, but yet I'm found myself as the middle man in this situation. And my first knee jerk is wanting to just sort of, like, deal with it yourself. I don't wanna do I don't wanna be in the middle of this. I wasn't even in the middle of this. How did I get here? But, again, looking at okay. This is a family that has been going through the ringer and looking at the story rather than looking at this text that comes in with, like, it's on fire, all the things.

  Tim Smith [00:11:58]:

  Mhmm. If I can remember the story, like, what happened that got the person here, then I can certainly respond with the kind of empathy that's needed and the understanding that's needed, and imagining myself in the situation that she and her family have just been through.

  Johan Heinrichs [00:12:17]:

  Mhmm.

  Tim Smith [00:12:18]:

  And how would I respond? What would I be doing? So for me, the big thing of of trauma care is that it's it's building that empathy muscle because it's the only way. Like, black and white if there's no black and white in trauma care, if you'd look at things black and white, it's like, this is what said, therefore, I'm gonna respond like this. But no, it's this is what was said, what's the heart behind it, what's the situation that led to it, and just having a much greater understanding and and compassion in my not only in my response, because I'm pretty good at mustering together the response, but I'm hoping for more and more change in my heart in that initial heart knee jerk reaction. So I think transformation in that way is kinda what I'm seeing coming and hoping for more.

  Danielle [00:13:08]:

  That's beautiful. Yeah. We talk in the course about competent compassion, and sometimes we see ourselves growing more in the compassion end and sometimes more in the competent end, and then they really come together in the end. Right? And beautiful. Beautiful to hear you sharing how your heart is shifting. And when you're paying attention to that, you know that there is there's deep work happening. Well, Danielle, thank you so much for sharing your story and, how this learning journey that you have come into starting with that conversation with a friend mentioning the word trauma and you having your own experience and reaction and then, you know, doing that deep work that you're continuing to do. I know this will be an encouragement to the listeners on our podcast.

  Danielle [00:13:50]:

  Would you have an encouragement, something for someone who's maybe just beginning to explore trauma care and the importance of trauma care? Just a quick encouragement for them as they're sitting with this idea, should they go forward with it.

  Tim Smith [00:14:02]:

  Yeah. I think it's really important if maybe if you don't come from a trauma experience to really befriend some people that have a maybe a different walk than your own and try to understand, you know, their story a little bit. And I think that's the thing that makes all the difference is understanding where people are coming from, what their background is, and maybe it's different from your own, but that's okay. I think it just helps us to, yeah, understand and have that sensitivity and empathy walking alongside of people.

  Danielle [00:14:36]:

  That's beautiful. Well, thank you for that. And I know your story is gonna be an encouragement to many Canadians across our nation who are those neighbors, who have that one friend, who have that person, or maybe even work in organizations like yourself that are continually engaging with lots of folks who might be carrying hard things. So bless you. Thank you for the work you do and really appreciate you and your team there in Ottawa and, across across Canada.

  Tim Smith [00:15:01]:

  Thank you, Tim.

  Johan Heinrichs [00:15:03]:

  Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on weekly episodes, upcoming opportunities, or to connect with our community, visit journeywithcare.ca, or find Care Impact on Facebook and Instagram, or just check the show notes for these links and all the links related to this episode. Share your thoughts, leave us a message, and be part of a network of individuals journeying in faith and purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a meaningful impact.