More of THIS, Please...
the small, the delightful, the hilarious, the meaningful that are making my life good right now
When do you feel most like yourself?
What brings you joy?
What little things are making your life delightful lately?
Does your worldview have room for these kinds of questions?
In January, I kept seeing variations of “more, please”. Instead of simply making new years resolutions or goals, people were paying attention to their actual, real lives and the things that were nourishing them. They were moving into a new season with a “what’s working and what’s out of sync” mindset instead of a radical self-renovation project.
So many of us have learned along the way that we have to constantly be disciplining our minds, bodies and hearts to fit the box of our lives. If you’re like me, you may often feel like life is happening to you instead of feeling like you are curating a life that you love. What if we started leaning into the life experiences we are having and noticing what makes us truly thrive?
I think people are tired of just surviving. We want more. More joy, more peace, more wonder, more connection, more life.
The answer to this kind of abundant living is the same as it has always been: Jesus.
But also, what does that mean?
What does it look like to live with more Jesus and less worldliness?
What does it look like to make Jesus’ words the final say on my identity, my purpose and the ways I measure success?
When what I believe about myself aligns with what Jesus has said about me, this is the space where joy, hope and a life of abundance can be found.
When I hit pause on the hustle and lean into my identity as a beloved image bearer, there is space for the kind of living that generates contentment, joy and rest. Here, I can stop scurrying and sit down to rest. I can pay attention to the unique characteristics God has placed within me. I can love others out of the overflow of being loved instead of trying to make ends meet with my own feeble efforts.
This kind of living is changing my days.
I want “more, please.”
More: 6AM WAKE-UPS
When I wake up before the rest of the house and curl up on the couch with a tea, a cozy blanket and my Bible, I am setting myself up to be the best version of myself that I can be. Easing into the day with softness and quiet has become a rhythm I hold tightly. Hearing myself think as the light creeps into my living room and nourishing my spiritual needs first help me navigate the chaos of the day with so much more grace and perspective.
More: NURTURING MY SPACE
A few months ago I wrote about my Home “Turndown Service” Rhythm. While I haven’t been able to keep up this rhythm consistently, I keep coming back to this practise and using it to realign myself in chaotic seasons. Home is the place I spend the most time and the place where the ones I love regularly return to rest, play and be reminded of their identity. When I take the time to nurture our physical space and care for the needs of our home and my family, we all experience the blessings of that effort. For me this might look like a cleaning schedule to stay on top of clutter and dirt, making my bed at the end of the day, changing out decor for the season, lighting a candle or buying fresh flowers for the vase on my kitchen island. Right now I have a gangly, overgrown sprout of romaine lettuce growing in a jar of water on my kitchen window ledge. I’ll probably never eat this lettuce as it’s turned out looking a bit awkward and leggy, but it’s brought me so much satisfaction every day for months now as it grew steadily there in front of my kitchen sink. The bold green leaves were a gaudy rebellion against the cold outside.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
More: 10 YEAR OLD BOYS
My two middle kids are ten now, and I am here for it! It turns out ten year old boys are funny, smart, affectionate and interesting to be around. They tell me more than they ever have before about their lives outside of our home, complete with dramatic stories, quotes and gestures to help me understand exactly what happened. They still hug me before leaving for school and kiss me at bedtime. They love when I give them my attention and they come up with some pretty witty comments and sarcastic replies. They wrestle with each other, and me, if I let them. They have the ability to be helpful, take criticism remarkably well and brush off my snarky comments on a bad day. They move constantly and notice everything. They are nosy, but also kind. They burp, fart and help with the dishes. They forgive easily, make their own lunches, help out with chores and call me “Bro.” They want me to read aloud to them but pick interesting books that make me want to read the next chapter! I have never felt especially equipped to be a “boy mom” but these two sons of mine make me laugh every day and I’m grateful I get to be their mom.
More: MIDDLE GRADE FICTION
A few years ago, I realized with alarm that I had nearly completely stopped reading. For a girl who spent every spare second of her childhood reading books for as long as I can remember, this gave me pause. What had changed? While there were obvious contributors, like the gaggle of children and teens I was caring for and the home I needed to maintain and the duties involved in adulting…I was determined there had to be a way for me to reintroduce this habit back into my life. One of the things I noticed was that when I sat down to read, my mind had a hard time focusing and I often felt disinterested or even resistant toward the content. When I started sifting through my “to read” and “in progress” stacks, I soon understood why. I had almost completely abandoned fictional novels and was primarily reading parenting advice, spiritual discipline content and trauma informed care information. No wonder my brain felt tired and irritated when I tried to read! In the following months, I started intentionally picking up works of fiction. I also began homeschooling my oldest daughter, who was in Grade 7 at the time, and the curriculum we used that year for Literature, called Brave Writer, had a fantastic book list. These books, among others I picked up along the way, rekindled my passion for reading, creative writing, and imagination. Harry Potter, The Wings of Fire series, Fish in a Tree, Greenglass House, Mananaland, The Chronicles of Narnia, Where the Red Fern Grows and Charlotte’s Web all delighted, inspired and entertained me. Some were first time discoveries and others were familiar favourites. Since then, I have kept a steady stream of both fiction and nonfiction books on the go. Many of the books I read these days are consumed in audiobook form while folding laundry, driving or cleaning. My favourite books are either read by the author or presented in full audio cast edition on Audible like the recently released Harry Potter Full Cast Edition.
More: WRITING
There are few things that ignite my passion more than an empty lined page or fresh Word document. Substack, in particular, has become this quiet and nourishing place for me to fan the flame of my writing dreams. Here, I have found my writing voice again after a few years of feeling stuck. I love that Substack encourages me to create and read long form essays that require attention and thought. I have found some truly inspirational authors here. I’ve also been taking a writing course online called The Writing Intensive hosted by Hannah Brencher. This course has given me new literary tools, taught me how to build writing into my life as a sustainable practise and given life to my dreams of becoming a writer. Aside from essays on Substack, I have returned to journaling as a writing activity as well.
More: KICKBOXING
A Martial Arts gym in my small town has been offering Beginner Women’s Kickboxing classes for the last several years and every time I saw them advertised on social media I felt this little niggle. In the Fall, I finally committed to doing it. I signed up and haven’t looked back since. I’m repeating the beginner level class this Spring because I’m still feeling pretty beginner-levelish, but I absolutely love this class! It’s fun, social, exhausting in all the best ways, challenging and consistent. The time commitment fits well into this season, the workout is intense but manageable and it has given me fresh motivation to incorporate physical exercise more regularly into my weekly routine. A few months in, I feel stronger than I have in years, I’ve developed brand new skills and challenged myself in ways that make me proud.
Photo by Milo Bunnik on Unsplash
More: THERAPY
When life gets heavy, finding a safe place to process the weight is crucial. I am a verbal processor, so paying someone to sit and listen to me for an hour a week and give me feedback is a small price to pay for the freedom and clarity I feel afterwards. In the therapy room I’ve learned a lot about my own tendencies, learned practical tools to regulate myself when my stress response system kicks in, processed traumatic experiences and found freedom from thought patterns, lies and unrealistic expectations that were crushing me. I am so grateful for the ways that Jesus has met me in these spaces over the last few years, whether in secular psychotherapy or Biblical counselling.
More: DATE NIGHTS
My husband and I have been fairly consistent with date nights throughout our marriage, but I’m always amazed at how quickly this can fall off the radar or get pushed off the calendar during a busy or stressful season. At home date nights have been our saving grace as there are many times we cannot afford to invest financially or emotionally into a regular babysitter. Tucking the kids into bed and retreating to our bedroom for date night is something our kids have grown up watching and I’m so glad. Board games, movie nights, campfires, brainstorming sessions, dreaming together or just chatting over some fast food or snacks has been life giving in our marriage. I am a quality time girl; talking, playing and laughing with my favourite person is the most restorative way to spend time for me.
More: CLOTHES I LOVE
There are days when I feel overstimulated from the minute my kids get up in the morning to the minute I lay my head down on my pillow to sleep. What I’ve noticed is that small things can really grow my window of tolerance. I can’t control the noise level in my home (remember the 10 year old boys?) during the pre-supper chaos hour, but what I can do is put on some comfortable pants so that I’m not also feeling the pinch of a stiff waist band at my stomach. I might not be able to shake the mental fog during luteal phase or escape the grief that’s sitting heavy on my chest through hard seasons but I can release the hair elastic that’s keeping my hair pulled too tight and pull on the thickest socks I own. Comfortable, soft clothes soothe my anxiety when the world feels heavy. Favourite hoodies offer a warm hug on a random Saturday. Outfits I’ve chosen carefully and curated with delight feed my confidence when I’m tackling a big challenge or trying something new. Familiar jeans that are worn in and versatile ease my decision fatigue when life gets chaotic. I used to buy things on a whim or make spur of the moment clothing decisions. Now, I’m usually more cautious and I like to try everything on. Does it feel good? Do I love it? Will I remember it and wish I’d purchased it if I leave it behind?
More: MOM’S DAY OFF
I married a remarkable man. One who sees me, celebrates me and loves to serve me well. For the past few months, as I’ve been dreaming and tentatively building new things and investing in my passions, my husband has gifted me one day a week where I can be fully committed to these projects while he takes over all the parenting and home responsibilities. This means that while I work on my writing course, prepare trauma training material, brainstorm ideas for our future airbnb retreat or volunteer at our kids’ school, he is doing all the things. Cooking, doling out snacks, folding laundry and driving kids around to various appointments and activities are just some of the things he’s doing in my place on those days. But not only that, he’s also made it clear this day is for me to use in whatever way I wish or need. This means that some weeks I take this day to simply rest and refuel. An everything shower, a favourite treat from the bakery downtown, journalling, a walk with a friend; it’s a day I get to just be human. Like every other mom out there, I get really tired some days. I love my kids, but the reality of meeting their various and complex needs can, at times, feel overwhelming. I love my home but there are times I feel stuck and restless. Having the freedom to go to the library for a few hours, take a nap or book a pedicure has been so wonderful. Most of all, the freedom to choose how I spend my time has given me a chance to rediscover what brings me joy and lights me up inside.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
More: SNUGGLING
I currently have three kids under 6 in my home and they all love to snuggle. Every single day I get hugs and kisses. On weekend mornings they like to climb into bed beside me. When I sit down on the couch they like to curl up with a story and a fuzzy blanket. In the mornings as I’m finishing up my quiet time and the sky starts to get light outside my window, they pitter-patter out of their rooms and come find me as their eyes are just opening. My littlest regularly puts her cheek against mine and says, “I love you so much and more!” They ask for “up” and a hug while I’m cooking supper, asking them about their day or after dinner. I an so aware that these moments will not last forever. My oldest two children are young adults now and no longer live at home. When I hug them, it’s every few weeks and it’s a brief embrace that never lasts long enough. The little girl who once clung to me now lives twenty minutes away in her own apartment. The girl who used to curl up in my lap and ask for foot rubs hasn’t been home in months. These snuggles I’m enjoying are a temporary delight of motherhood. I’m determined to savor them for as long as they last.
I hope these little glimpses of my life have inspired you to lean into your own and to start curating a life that brings you joy, nurtures the unique gifts you bring to the world and honors the God who created you so intentionally.
-AF
Note: The reflections shared here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of CareImpact.
