Messy Advice For People Who Care | Am I Failing If I Pull Back?
Description
Today's question: “I used to be someone people could count on, but lately, I just don't have it in me. Am I failing if I pull back?”
Your messy adviser, Johan, tackles this real (and slightly crispy) dilemma in a way only he can— with snack references, biblical throwbacks, and gentle reminders that hitting the wall doesn’t mean you’re not caring enough. Get ready for a short but meaningful conversation about what burnout really looks like, why boundaries matter, and how stepping back might actually honour your heart to serve. Perfect for those late-night Google searches about burnout—or anyone who secretly wishes for a nap and a rotisserie chicken.
CareImpact Podcast Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/19rkPGbD7C/
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Johan Heinrichs [00:00:00]:
This one's for anyone who's ever told someone, I'm good, while quietly googling burnout symptoms at 2AM. Burnout doesn't always look like a breakdown, sometimes it looks like crying in a Costco parking lot because they're at a rotisserie chicken and that was your one win for the day. You sign the volunteer form. By week three, you're running the entire Sunday team you weren't even part of and hiding behind a potted plant to avoid being asked again. Welcome to Messy Advice for People Who Care, a summer series from Journey with Care for people who care deeply, try their best, and sometimes wonder if burnout is just their personality now. We're talking about caregiving, boundaries, burnout, and the not so clear moments of loving others well, minus the formulas. This is Johan on the edge of helpful, slightly crispy around the edges, but still showing up. Sometimes the hardest thing to admit is that we've hit a wall, especially when people count on us to keep showing up.
Johan Heinrichs [00:00:58]:
Today's question gets into that exact tension. I used to be someone people can count on, but lately, I just don't have it in me. Am I failing if I pull back? That's not just a fair question. It's one I think more people are quietly carrying than we realize. It hits on that deep unspoken fear. What if I'm not okay and people still need me to be? According to a 2022 Indeed Canada report, 53 of Canadian workers said they were burned out, up from forty percent just two years earlier. So if you're feeling emotionally spent, you're not dramatic. You're trending, which is probably the least comforting way of saying you're not alone.
Johan Heinrichs [00:01:43]:
But stats don't tell you what it feels like at 06:30AM, checking your messages with a pit in your stomach and nothing left in the tank. Let's talk about that. Now I love the heart behind showing up, but somewhere along the line, we turned it into a competitive sport, and the gold medal goes whoever cancels rest the fastest in the name of being available. Imagine this. You're two hours into your workday, three tabs deep into unread emails, and someone texts, hey. Can you help me out with something small? You're exhausted. But you type, sure. I'm happy to help because the guilt hits faster than the boundary.
Johan Heinrichs [00:02:23]:
And suddenly, you're in full triage mode, overfunctioning like your spiritual worth depends on it. Not because you want to, but because saying no feels like a betrayal. Consider this. Let's get biblical. Biblical. In first Kings 19, Elijah has just come off a massive spiritual wind. Fire from heaven, the prophets of Baal exposed, people falling on their knees in worship. By all accounts, it's a career defining moment for a prophet.
Johan Heinrichs [00:02:54]:
And then he crashes, and he crashes hard. He runs into the wilderness, lies down under a bush, and basically tells God, I've had enough. I'm done. He's not dramatic. He's depleted. And what does God do? Not a lecture. Not a motivational speech. No.
Johan Heinrichs [00:03:15]:
Let's talk about your lack in faith. Instead, God sends an angel, and God sends an angel of snacks. And he says, get up and eat. And then Elijah falls asleep again, so the angel comes back with more food. It's like divine DoorDash with a side of try again later. God doesn't rush Elijah. He doesn't push him past his limits. He gives him space, silence, rest, and then, only then, he whispers.
Johan Heinrichs [00:03:46]:
Not in fire, not in wind, not in earthquakes, but in stillness. This isn't just about burnout. It's about how god responds to our breaking point with care, with gentleness, with a kind of kindness that doesn't require us to prove we're still useful. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap and eat something warm. So maybe the most faithful thing you could do this week is nap. Not out of laziness, but a way of saying, I trust that everything doesn't depend on me. Burnout doesn't mean that you've failed. It means that you've been carrying more than you were meant to.
Johan Heinrichs [00:04:26]:
Maybe it's time to set something down, not everything, just something. Start there. And, hey, if that landed somewhere in your chest, you're not alone. A lot of us are trying to serve from empty wells and we don't have to. And if you wanna join a conversation with like minded people, join us on the Care Impact podcast group on Facebook. And until next time, keep loving, keep laughing, and if your search history includes burnout symptoms or how to fake a sabbatical, take that as your sign not to fake it, actually rest, and always remember to stay curious.
