Messy Advice... | Busy Hearts Need Rest Too
Description
Today’s question: “I love people, but I’m exhausted. Does stepping back mean I’ve stopped caring?”
In this summer instalment of Journey With Care’s “Messy Advice” series, your messy adviser, Johan, dives into that familiar tension of wanting to support others without sacrificing your own rest. This conversation playfully unpacks the difference between deep care and constant availability, drawing inspiration from one of Jesus’s quietest habits. Whether you fantasize about going off-grid or just long for one uninterrupted evening, you’ll find camaraderie, fresh perspective, and a few laughs that give you full permission to pause—without guilt. Pull up a chair (or hammock!) and enjoy this refreshingly honest take on boundaries, burnout, and why loving well sometimes means loving yourself, too.
CareImpact Podcast Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/19rkPGbD7C/
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Johan Heinrichs [00:00:00]:
This one's for anyone who's ever stared at an unread text notification and thought, I'll love them tomorrow. Let's be honest. There's a difference between caring deeply and being constantly available, and a lot of us are confusing the two. We've all had that day off, the one where we'd swore we'd rest and then said yes to helping someone move, mediating a group chat conflict, and dropping off a pie we didn't bake. Suddenly, your soul care day or Sabbath looks suspiciously like another shift. Welcome to Messy Advice for People Who Care, a summer series from Journey with Care for anyone who loves deeply and occasionally fantasizes about becoming unreachable. We're talking about caregiving, boundaries, burnout, and the not so clear moments of loving it as well, minus the formulas. This is Johan on the edge of helpful, offering wisdom for when your soul needs rest and your inbox needs deleting.
Johan Heinrichs [00:00:56]:
Hey. If you've ever wondered whether you're allowed to take a break from caring, this one's for you. Here's the question we're gonna address today. I love people, but I'm exhausted. Does stepping back mean that I've stopped caring? That's a brave question and, honestly, one I wish more of us would ask before hitting our limit. According to a 2023 survey by the Canadian Center for Caregiving Excellence, forty seven percent of caregivers reported feeling tired, forty four percent felt worried or anxious, and thirty seven percent felt overwhelmed due to their caregiving responsibilities. So if you ever found yourself emotionally drained just thinking about another quick favor, you're in good company. It's not just you.
Johan Heinrichs [00:01:44]:
It's a shared experience among other caregivers. But you see, exhaustion isn't failure. It's feedback. And let's talk about what that feedback is trying to say. Just because you care doesn't mean you're on call twenty four seven. That's not compassion. That's customer service. Picture this.
Johan Heinrichs [00:02:05]:
You've got one quiet evening ahead, a hot drink, a show you're looking to finish, then the phone buzzes. Hey. Sorry. Last minute. I know, but could you dot dot dot. Your brain screams no, and your heart whispers maybe, and your fingers type, of course. And suddenly, you're back in the game, resentful, tired, and still trying to be holy. Let's take a look at this passage in Luke five fifteen to 16.
Johan Heinrichs [00:02:40]:
Let's get biblical. Biblical. By this point in Luke's gospel, Jesus's reputation is exploding. Crowds are gathering. People are bringing their sick. They're hurting. They're desperate. He's in high demand for healing, for teaching, for hope.
Johan Heinrichs [00:02:57]:
Like, back in the day, forget Taylor Swift. This is Jesus we're talking about. And in verse 16, we get this little line that almost feels like a whisper in scripture, But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Not once, not after he finished everything on his list, but often. He didn't vanish out of frustration. He didn't burn out and disappear. He stepped away intentionally, prayerfully, even while people were still waiting. And that's huge because some of us feel like stepping back is only allowed after everyone else is okay.
Johan Heinrichs [00:03:39]:
But Jesus showed us a different rhythm, one where rest isn't earned. It's part of obedience, where love doesn't mean endless access, and faithfulness includes quiet places. Jesus didn't ghost people, and he didn't let their needs dictate his life and calling either because even perfect love had patterns of pause to reconnect his soul with God, to get that refueling. And if Jesus needed space to breathe, pray, and be alone, we probably do too. So if you're tired, maybe the most faithful thing you could do is rest. Not because you don't care, but because you do, Deep care without rest eventually turns into resentment, and we don't want that. So take a step back. Take a breath.
Johan Heinrichs [00:04:31]:
Love will still be there when you return. And, hey, if this resonated with you, you're not the only one trying to love without collapsing. Give yourself permission to pause. And if you got a messy question about caregiving, compassion fatigue, or your inner urge to escape to the mountains, join us on our Care Impact Facebook group, bunch of like minded individuals there. We're we're asking the same questions. And until next time, keep loving, keep laughing, and if you need to go off grid, at least charge your phone first and stay curious.
