Backstage Pass to Trauma Care | Learning Trauma Care for Family and Community with Josée

Description

What does it truly mean to walk alongside others through seasons of challenge, healing, and growth?

In this heartfelt conversation, Tim Smith and Johan Heinrichs speak with Josée, a mother, homeschooler, and family coach from the Ottawa area. Josée shares stories from her family’s adoption journey and her work with Safe Families, revealing how her pursuit of trauma care training through CareImpact has shaped both her home life and community involvement. With practical insights into compassion, connection, and equipping the Church to serve well, Josée encourages listeners to deepen their understanding of trauma, embrace empathy in all relationships, and become safe spaces for those in need.

CareImpact Podcast Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/19rkPGbD7C/

• Transcript

  Johan Heinrichs [00:00:00]:

  Welcome to this special episode of Journey with Care, part of our summer speedo series. I'm Johan, and today, I'm excited to hand the mic over to our guest host, Tim, our lead trauma care trainer who's guiding us through a meaningful conversation with Jose. She'll be joining us from Ottawa. She is a mother of four, passionate homeschooler, and deeply involved in her local church and community. In this episode, she shares about her family's story, her heart for serving others, and some powerful insights on compassion and connection, and they get into why she got into trauma care and why she took the trauma care course with Care Impact. Some powerful insights. So whether you're in a walk in your garden or just taking a break, I invite you to listen as we explore what it means to walk alongside others and grow together. Let's get started.

  Tim Smith [00:00:45]:

  Well, Jose, welcome. We are so excited to have this moment to have a little conversation with you. And I'm just wondering, you're there in Ottawa. I'm here in Nova Scotia. Is there something simple that brought you joy this week?

  Josee [00:01:00]:

  Oh, yeah. Getting out in the garden with the kids. I mean, we're we're just preparing, having the chickens walking around, and the kids just helping me out with some projects. We we have a lot of fun out there.

  Tim Smith [00:01:10]:

  Beautiful. Oh, I love it. I'm gardening here with our two kids and and, loving that as well. Before we jump into your story, if you could share a little bit about yourself, where you live, what you do, anything you kind of would like to share with us about your day to day life.

  Josee [00:01:26]:

  Well, thanks for having me. My name is Jules Lee Jovan. I live in Clarence Rockland, and we have a family of four kiddos. So my husband, Steph, and I, we've lived in this area. Well, him his whole life and me, rural Eastern my whole life. But with our kids, we have three girls and one boy and basically a 15 year old, a 10 year old and two little twins that are two little boy little girls. So that's that's our family. We are a homeschooling family.

  Josee [00:01:56]:

  We are in it for the long haul, so I kinda joke around that I don't know what vacations are, and I I don't know what retirement's gonna look like, but I try to enjoy that journey with them and get to infuse some life and what God has placed over them. And so that's a high honor. I also serve through my local church. We go to New Beginning Church in Rockland and served and worship there a long time, but God really put a tug on my heart to serve with safe families. And we wanted to, as a family, have that opportunity to reach out to our community in a very tangible way. And so we became a host family with them. And then, well, when our adoption went through, then things shifted, with the two younger ones. And so now I'm a family coach with them and still advocating to, and supporting the work that say families auto was doing as well as hoping that we eventually will be able to reach out to the community here and continue to see families and encouraged and strengthened in their journey, but also to see God do some restoration.

  Josee [00:03:00]:

  And so for me, learning about trauma care has been life giving, not only for me with my own kids, but interaction with other families, other children, but also with, or would say families, I think is so important. And, so I'm really thankful for that opportunity of the course. I'm just, I need that gets I can get a handle on. And, and the more I can understand of myself as well as I, aim to serve others that are going through crises, then the the more the Lord is able to sharpen whatever I am doing. And and so that has a greater impact for his glory.

  Tim Smith [00:03:33]:

  That's beautiful, Jose. So for our listeners that are not familiar with the Ottawa area, I grew up there, so I know where Clarence Rockland is. But you're just outside of Ottawa. You referred to being connected with Safe Families Ottawa. We've got another story that listeners will hear, from someone else connected with Safe Families. You've already jumped right in to where our questions are going today. Can you share a little bit about your journey in understanding a little bit about trauma? What first opened your eyes to to that?

  Josee [00:04:01]:

  When we were going through the process of adoption, actually, is what got us into it. We're trying to learn more and more about trauma and open adoption and understanding the dynamics of a child that has gone through that trauma, whether they're adopted from birth or later on, and just being aware of how to support them in all those seasons. That's where it started. Started learning with the provinces to, you know, what are some of the challenges out in the community with the foster system? And that was very much, it was very much geared towards that. I found a lot for adoptive families like we were hoping to be. And so I came across Catherine Purvis's resources, and so we started connecting with the annual conference with Empowered to Connect, the podcast as well, and just taking that in and sharing with our kids too, our older girls, so that they can also understand how those dynamics might change and what we can pray for. And I find sharing is is an opportunity for them to to be more empathic empathetic

  Johan Heinrichs [00:05:10]:

  Mhmm.

  Josee [00:05:11]:

  From French.

  Tim Smith [00:05:11]:

  Empathetic. Yeah. Thank you. You're you're doing this in your second language. Yeah. It's beautiful, Jose. Thank you.

  Josee [00:05:17]:

  Oh, I'm Franco and Terrian, so we kinda blended all both.

  Tim Smith [00:05:21]:

  Right.

  Johan Heinrichs [00:05:22]:

  Well, we wanted them

  Josee [00:05:24]:

  to have compassion in their hearts for others irregardless through adoption. Just anyone you meet in community. Right? That's really the heart even in our homeschool, that, that they would be able to be strong in the Lord and that their first response is when they see people they interact with is compassion and understanding, well, this is who God is, and this is what he's expecting of me. But God, what is your response? What do you see? How do you want me to act and embrace this person? And so we've had that lovely introduction, those resources, honestly, was

  Johan Heinrichs [00:05:56]:

  the best books I found. I found some, some really horrific books, unfortunately, about adoption and trauma and

  Josee [00:06:02]:

  all these things. I was like, lord,

  Johan Heinrichs [00:06:05]:

  it's so sad. But, yeah, it is.

  Josee [00:06:07]:

  It is. But I'm like, surely, there is hope because there's you. And then I I came across those, those resources. And so I was like, Oh, thank you, Lord. Like just so much hope. And then I care and I've been blessed and encouraged our family in ways that we never even thought we'd need it. Like we went through some trauma with our eldest, some times, of, of serious illness where at 11 years old, we almost lost her and having to walk through that with her and then walk through the trauma of my younger child at that time, realizing that maybe she was an ill, but she certainly had trauma. So it opened my eyes.

  Josee [00:06:48]:

  So even to this day, God is still showing, ways that we can kind of reconnect and help rebuild there. And he's done so much. But if I would not have had that opportunity to learn about new trauma and how to connect and how to rebuild it, then that would have been detrimental, I think, to my family. So I definitely encourage any family to be informed about these resources because first thing we have to do is look at ourselves. And as a parent, we can get triggered by so many things, but to take the time to understand, like, how am I triggered here? What is this? Where is this coming from? And understanding and getting some insight into my experience as a teller. What have I told myself? What have I believed all these years and how is that impacting how I interact with others? Yeah. It's a lovely thing. And we certainly wanna have connection with our kids and encourage them that whatever season you're going through, that I'm a safe space to land and that, you know, we're we're able to walk through it together.

  Tim Smith [00:07:51]:

  That's beautiful, Jazee. It's so powerful how you're seeing the equipping that you've received really shaping you. And then it's you that holds the relationships within your family unit that you're speaking a lot to. But in the community, you've spoken of your church, of safe families and their connection with other families, and then, of course, within your family unit with the adoptive twins that you have, but also with your biological kids and the hard things that each of you has been through together. And it's not just one place of relationship that I'm hearing from you that you found the impact of the training and the empathy that comes with understanding more of what's below the surface for for each of us. So you've just actually come through a training, a master class we call it with Care Impact. Very similar content, I would say, being trained in TBRI and in this content we just delivered. You have a few things to say to that training.

  Tim Smith [00:08:46]:

  You've already said a lot, but, was there a moment in the trauma care master class, that you just took where you learned or realized something that helped you approach a relationship differently, something maybe new, or or just a a strong reminder to you that you picked up from the course?

  Josee [00:09:03]:

  There was a lot of reminders, but I do have to say that it went even deeper in details about trauma, trauma intervention, the fight or flight, all the different, things, even the attachment styles. That's not something that we had gone through and the other resources that I had learned. So I very much appreciated that. Yeah. Some more detail around what was happening physiologically and an understanding of, and what place people are at, depending on where they're at. Seeing also their attachment types, how it's represented in childhood and then how it's represented in adulthood, because those will look completely different. And so I really appreciated those details. Of course, as we ended up closing the time together, there was some sharing about others, share our kids' stories.

  Josee [00:09:51]:

  And so for me as an adoptive mom, I have a closed adoption. It's a bit tricky to know how do you share what and how much. That was really helpful to me because they went through the different stages and what's an example of how you could share delicate information, but but in accordance to their development. Yeah. So I thought that was helpful.

  Tim Smith [00:10:11]:

  Oh, thank you. Thank you for sharing that, Jose. I'm so glad to hear that it was a deeper dive, that it went broader, reminded you of some core things that you had picked up along the way from TBRI and wherever else you've been been doing your learning. And, but I'm so glad to hear that the course served to to broaden and deepen your understanding, and it is from that place, like we say in the course, of competence that our compassion grows. And as our compassion grows, we desire to get more competent. So I I I think it's beautiful that you're on that journey. With this learning journey you've been on, has there been a moment when what you learned or what you've been realizing along the way has helped shape a specific situation that you might wanna share with us?

  Josee [00:10:52]:

  It reminded me, again, when we were talking about adoption and you had mentioned a book about the body remembers trauma, which I knew, but again, you know what? I got the book because I'm like, No, I need to dig deeper here because, yeah, their body remembers and I need even more education on what that might even look like as they're growing up. And also for my other kids and the trauma that they went through too. There might be some things that I'm seeing that are actually an indicator of that. And in a bigger spectrum too, I want to help and support families that might be going something similar, But but from my own space, that's where I was coming from. Like, oh, yeah. I I need to dig in a little bit deeper there.

  Tim Smith [00:11:31]:

  As you think of yourself and this is a while ago now because you've been on this journey for a good while. But as you think of yourself before starting this journey learning about the impacts of trauma and how to care well, is there a way that you've seen yourself interact maybe with one of your kids or or anyone, in your life that you realize has shifted a little bit? And could you tell a quick story about that?

  Josee [00:11:53]:

  So much. I mean, I I grew up in a a a different time. Right? And we look at our parents and our grandparents and and the parenting that they did, of course, the best that they could in very loving ways. And then, you know, we kind of make a decision as to, well, this is how I do want to parent. This is how I'd like to be with my kids. And so, yeah, in our journey, it's opened my eyes to even more connection. Like I, I remember feeling the stress in my household and, and then seeing my parents relaxed when we were all married and gone. I'm like, you know what? I want to enjoy the journey.

  Josee [00:12:27]:

  I want to enjoy the moments. I want to enjoy even the hardships, but just to allow the Lord to just, to move in those and to be present. The tools I've learned in order to stay connected with my kids, if I have to intervene as far as even, just discipline the regular mentoring we have to do with our kids, a lot of repetition, but to keep myself checked where I'm able to to be, regulated, but also help them to find, regulate and talk through tools a lot

  Johan Heinrichs [00:13:02]:

  about self regulation and sometimes to their frustration. They're like, but this really does help. And you

  Josee [00:13:07]:

  know, I'm a parent, but it helps me too. Sometimes I'm tired. Sometimes I don't wanna do something, but you know, taking a nice deep breath or doing you know, not running away, but choosing to to stick around and and to talk it through or just even have a big hug and and talk through how we're feeling. Doesn't that feel better? And asking about how how they're feeling when they're going through all those emotions and then connecting. And how do you feel now, now that we've been talking together? And I know it was really hard at first, but how are you feeling now? Like, that feels really good, you know, and just talking about what we can do in the future maybe. So you don't have to feel that way and and a lot of connecting, a lot of talking, a lot of yeah.

  Tim Smith [00:13:47]:

  Well, that's beautiful. I love that centering on connection because that feels like a great idea until you're in the moment and it's hot and it's tired and the emotions, yours and whoever else you're caring for, the kids in the in the case you're sharing, right, are are high. And I and I love your naming finding joy in the journey, of of connection. And I I hear you, naming emotions, not just for your kids, but for yourself and being able to name those together is a powerful way of regulating. That's so beautiful. It's been such a pleasure hearing your story, and I know your story will be an encouragement to our listeners as they think about, is this something I should be on a journey of learning more in understanding trauma and how to care well for people who are carrying hard things? Do you have one final encouragement for our listeners, one final, little reach out to anybody that might be thinking about this idea of learning more?

  Josee [00:14:46]:

  Mhmm. I'd encourage them to do that, to step out. Whether you're in ministry or you're you're walking alongside people, all of us go through difficult seasons. It might even be your own parents one day. You really don't know what God's gonna put on your path. As far as, you know, someone that you're asked to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I just find it's just another way to connect to his heart, to really have him touch your heart with different ways to connect to people, to really have eyes, to see people for who they are and to walk with them where they're at, just like God does with us. I think it's terrific for the church ministries. We've got so many people that are reaching out and coming, but so little equipping.

  Josee [00:15:30]:

  I think there's so much room to increase, you know, talking about this and sharing resources and, and making this actually a pivotal piece of how we're choosing to reach out to the community and all the different ways. I think it'll, we'll see a greater impact if we do that. And as Christians, I mean, we'll be better equipped as well, too. In this day and age, there is so much brokenness. And so we, we can use all the, the tools that we can, especially when people have walked through it and they've they've learned so much. I mean, there's a lot of wisdom to learn and it's wise to apply that, you know, with the sermon and the different situations we come across.

  Tim Smith [00:16:10]:

  Great wisdom. Thank you, Jose.

  Josee [00:16:14]:

  Bless you. Thank you.

  Johan Heinrichs [00:16:16]:

  Thank you for joining us on Journey with Care. To get more information on weekly episodes, upcoming opportunities, or to connect with our community, visit journeywithcare.ca, or find Care Impact on Facebook and Instagram. Or just check the show notes for these links and all the links related to this episode. Share your thoughts, leave us a message, and be part of a network of individuals journeying in faith and purpose. Together, let's discover how we can make a meaningful impact.